Did We Do the Right Thing?

• Video Transcript

  In our lives, we experience what I call trouble. It comes in many forms but usually from the same specific people in our lives. These people may be close to us, like people in our family, or they could be just people we know: friends or coworkers.

  But it's important that we recognize who these people are and label them as such. Now, I'm not saying these people are bad people. In fact, they are more likely to be good people, and often they are people that we love. But what kind of trouble do these people bring into our lives? Well, one example is a situation where we are being criticized in some way by someone. They might say to us that we should be more like this or we should stop doing something.

  In this situation, what we don't need to do is react and start having an argument with them. And we definitely don't need to take it as a personal attack and one where we need to defend ourselves. We don't even need to say that we will do things differently. We just have to sit tight, be non-committal, and wait for the trouble to finish.

  But the doubt still remains. Do we need to change? Maybe, maybe not. One thing is for sure, though: we are being shown an area where we need to do something differently or approach something in a different way. And would it be better for us if we did change how we act in that part of our lives that is being criticized? Maybe. And are we going to change?

  Well, we will find out because the next time a similar situation comes along, we might decide to do things differently. And because part of who we are is how we act and we have acted differently, then we have slightly changed ourselves. But there is some danger here. There's always a thin line between changing yourself to make yourself a better person and changing yourself to be what someone else wants you to be. And where that line is is something that we have to decide for ourselves.

  Usually, though, to help us with this, there is a good indicator of when not to change yourself. Sometimes the trouble that these people bring to us is played out in our heads. They say something to us, and then later we think about what they said over and over again, usually because it really annoyed us.

  And this makes us question ourselves and our own actions. Did we do the right thing or did we do enough in that situation? Usually, the answer is yes, but only after our brains have replayed the situation a dozen times will our minds finally be satisfied that we did do the right thing. And then we can move on.

  Confirming that what we did was right changes how we feel about who we are and gives us confidence that we can take into the next situation.