Leaving Space in Your Life for What Comes Next

• Video Transcript

  There is one event in your life: an event that is completely out of your control and one that you are powerless to stop no matter what you do or how hard you try. At first, it seems like things just aren't going your way or that you've hit a patch of bad luck. But then it starts to escalate into a series of unfortunate events for your life.

  And the one characteristic that ties all of these things together is that nothing seems to work. All of the things that you try and all of the ways that you are living break down. This can be scary as it starts to look as if your life is going off the rails and you can't hang on to it. But really, what is happening is the most important thing that will ever happen to you.

  And in fact, you shouldn't hang on to it. At this time, you should let go of the old and outdated: relationships that never really gave you anything good, habits and routines that are worn out. And you don't need to race to replace these things immediately. Leave some space in your life for what comes next. This process takes time. And time is something you have a lot of. And it's important to know that you are not alone in your struggle. Many other people have been through or are going through the same thing, though it may look different from the outside.

  While this breaking down of your life is happening, you might feel under attack and anxious a lot of the time as you wait for the next bad thing to happen. And the only thing you can do at this stage is to brace yourself and let go of any expectations you may still have. It's best to accept what is happening and hold on to what you want to happen.

  It's human nature to want nice things or to want things to be better, and you can't switch this off. But also, as human beings, we have the strength to grit our teeth and adapt to our situations. And as time moves on, new things come. You move forward into a better place, but it's not much better. Small increments of progress are all you get in this period.

  This is the beginning of a chance to start again. But you're still you, and your life is still recognizable as your own. It includes elements of your old life and it still functions as such. But you have to get used to some new rules and the new ways that your life works, or sometimes doesn't work. And you know when you're doing the wrong thing because you're painfully shown that it's wrong.

  Every time you run into trouble, it's a wake-up call to change your behavior or to think differently about what's in front of you. And the faster you find out what to change, the easier it is. The biggest changes, of course, are to yourself. And you find that you lose yourself for a while, and that's okay because you find yourself again as you piece together your new life.

  And in this new life, new things happen. You are able to have new experiences and explore new thoughts and ideas. How you see your life is different too, and you start to judge what's happening in it from a different perspective: a perspective of being able to see more clearly what's really going on.

  This process takes a long time. You may have already been through it, you may be going through it right now, or you may be yet to go through it. But wherever you are up to in your life, it's important to know that your life is not as bad as it may seem. And although progress is slow, you are moving forward into a better place.