A Way to Think About the Future

• Video Transcript

  People always want to know the future, or specifically, what lies in store for them in the future. And one of the reasons for this is because they are scared of the future. Maybe you are scared or worried about your future right now. And if to you, the world is an unfriendly place where things happen randomly and without meaning, then it is scary.

  Then there’s death looming in the distance, silently waiting to take you at any moment. And you can’t be blamed for worrying about that too from time to time. And at the same time, another mechanism is at work. And that is your tendency to be optimistic about the future and to think that everything will work out fine.

  But what you really need is a way to think about the future that will benefit you in the present. So the first thing you need to do is to start noticing what you are feeling about the immediate future. Look for what is making you stressed or what feels like a black spot in the distance, then look at what the source of these things is. You’ll find that most of these things are completely out of your control.

  And of course, you can’t do anything about the things that are out of your control. And although you can try, there are no real ways to make yourself feel better about them or to trick yourself into thinking they are not affecting you. But really, you don’t have to. It’s okay to feel bad about them. So you should expect to. You know that you only have to feel bad until they have finished. And then you can enjoy the relief and feel good again.

  You will notice, though, that as you wait for that thing to happen, you won’t feel intense feelings of dread about it the whole time. Your feelings will come and go in waves that you are able to deal with. Also, your near future can very easily change. So you shouldn’t think that anything is set in stone. Something that you are worried about now could disappear in an instant, so try not to overreact.

  And don’t forget that when you are about to tackle upcoming situations, you should always be on alert for people who are acting strangely around you. Especially if it’s directed at you. If anyone is insensitive or rude around you, accept it for what it is, which is weird behavior that is connected to something they’re going through and not something personal about you.

  Another part of the future is people making you do things at a future date. And of course, you could have not agreed to do it, but there are some things that you just can’t say no to. So for these things that you aren’t looking forward to, it’s best to view them as experiences you can get something from. And the reason you can get something from them is that these experiences are stressful.

  They are stressful because you don’t want to do them. And first, you have to wait for them to happen, and then you have to actually do them. But having this stress will make you better at dealing with stress. And that’s important because being stronger against stress makes you better able to make good decisions in the future when you are under stress again, and better able to see what to do.

  Another part of the future you have fear about is related to the people in your life that you care about. And this opens up a whole area of worries about what will happen to them in the future. Other people’s lives are even more out of your control than parts of your own life. But the things that happen to the people around you are important experiences that have a meaning for their lives.

  So their future is what they need, and they will be able to get through it just as you are able to get through the things that happen in your own life. We are not all the same. You may look at someone’s life and wonder how they ever got through a certain experience, and they might look at your life and think exactly the same thing. Because your future is a series of challenges you are ready for.