How Do We Recognize the Best Way to Go?

• Video Transcript

  If you observe very young children going through their day, it's easy to see that in every interaction they have, there is one thing on their minds: themselves. Everything revolves around them, and they haven't yet developed the ability to see things from another person's perspective.

  As adults, we like to believe that we are different. We have empathy and consider others, offering help or making compromises. But are we genuinely thinking about others, or are we simply better at concealing our own agendas and manipulating situations to achieve the outcomes we truly desire?

  It doesn't really matter whether we can honestly assess our actions in each situation and determine how selfless they are. Being selfless all the time is not the ultimate goal, just as constantly obtaining what we want is not the goal either. Ultimately, we want the best outcome to occur, which is challenging because we often fail to recognize what that truly is. However, in significant situations in our lives, it is better for us and everyone involved if we learn how to navigate them in order to achieve the best results.

  So, how do we accomplish that? Well, every important situation is unique, and our actions will vary each time we encounter one. Therefore, the real answer lies not in what we should do, but rather in the way we need to be.

  First and foremost, we must be aware of when an important situation is commencing. That means we need to promptly recognize its onset. Once we find ourselves in the situation, there are several paths we can take, and we must be cognizant of the available options, acknowledging that we don't know which one is best yet.

  It's important to remember that the best option might align with what we want to happen, or equally, with what we don't want to happen. We must be willing to accept outcomes that may not align with our immediate desires because they are in the best interest of the bigger picture. If other people are involved, we need to consider their perspectives and not dismiss anything prematurely. Additionally, we need to recognize that one of the tools at our disposal is time. Sometimes, things need to be left and temporarily set aside.

  There may come a point where the way forward is unclear. If possible, during such moments, rather than forcing a premature conclusion that could be incorrect, it is better to step away and revisit the situation later. So, how do we recognize the best course of action? Well, when we weigh the options, the best way forward is the one that leaves us with no doubt that it is indeed the best path.

  By "knowing" the best way, I mean having a deep sense of certainty. Knowing is not the same as merely thinking. Knowing is a feeling. We don't need to debate or convince ourselves of it, but we must be receptive to it.

  When we observe other people's lives, it is often easy to see what they should do in certain situations. It can be surprising when they choose differently. However, we don't need to be like that. We don't have to choose the way we think is best for us. We can choose the way we know is the best because we understand that our decision is not driven by selfishness, but rather by good intentions.