Experiences We Should Be Deciding to Have

• Video Transcript

  Every day, we are faced with decisions about what we should do with our time in our personal lives. There are things that we need to do, things that we want to do, and then there are the things that we think we should do.

  And with this last category, it's often difficult to know whether we should do something, especially when we don't really want to or we feel obliged to do it. And an added complication to these things is that they often involve other people, which makes them trickier to navigate. So, how can we decide if we should or shouldn't do something? But more importantly than that, how can we know and feel happy that our decision was right?

  The answer to that is a little complicated, so first let's look at what something we should do looks like. Simply speaking, the things we should do will give us experiences that have the potential to change us slightly. They will change how we feel about our lives and ourselves and give us a different way of looking at everything.

  But I don't mean in a huge epiphany-giving, life-changing way. I mean that just for a short time and in a small way, we will escape from what's normal and feel different. And although the feeling lasts only while we are having the experience and for a short time after, the effects are not temporary. Even when these feelings have gone, they have already changed us slightly and permanently.

  So why do we need to seek out things that change us? Well, the short answer is that each time we change, we become closer to who we are changing into. So when we are choosing what to do or whether we should do A or B, then we have to look if it could be an experience that could change us. And it doesn't matter what kind of change it is or how small of a change it will give us, as long as we feel different while we're doing it. And we don't have to climb mountains or cross oceans to feel different, but it should be something that when we imagine doing it, we can see that potentially we will feel different.

  It's also important to look at what something we shouldn't do looks like too. And of course, something we shouldn't do does not have the potential to take us out of ourselves and make us feel different. But also, these are things that lack the potential for the unknown to happen.

  So once we've measured the activity against these criteria, we can decide the best thing to do. And it is especially useful when something comes along that we feel obliged to do or are afraid of not doing because of the people involved. Because if we have measured it correctly, then with confidence we can say that our decision is right. And doing something or not doing something because it is right for us is the only justification we need.