When We are Faced with Challenging Situations

• Video Transcript

  We all reminisce about the past and happily remember things that we've done. And some memories are from a long time ago, and some are more recent. But there is another process we go through which is a less pleasant experience.

  Sometimes we remember more significant times in our lives, usually from our more distant pasts. These experiences were something embarrassing, stressful, shocking, or painful. They are times that we made mistakes. And although in most cases we couldn't have stopped them from happening, we still feel that how we acted or the choices we made in those situations were wrong. And it is for this reason that they are important to us. Because the emotion that accompanies all of these memories is regret. So why is regret important?

  First of all, I need to make it clear that regret is actually a good thing for us. So what does regret do for us? Well, when we regret things that we've done, we also see what we did right and what we did wrong in a situation. And when we revisit these situations as we remember them, we strengthen what is right and what is wrong for us. This then becomes a powerful tool for us to use in the present, and it is especially useful when we are faced with challenging situations.

  When we are in a challenging situation, we automatically use our tool of what is right and wrong, or in other words, what we should do and what we shouldn't do. And in this way, we are able to see more clearly the best course of action and be more confident that it is the right course of action for our lives.

  It's also important to note that we can regret the same memory many times and still get something from it because each time we relive it and judge ourselves, the way we know we should have acted becomes stronger.

  There are also times when we replay very recent events in our lives. Things that have just happened. And of course, we do this a lot, but I'm referring to the things that keep replaying in our minds more than once. These things are too fresh for us to regret yet. And so they affect us differently than those memories from long ago. It could be something that happened that day, but the fact that it keeps coming back to our minds over and over again tells us that it's important.

  And these memories are important because they are showing us something. And it doesn't matter what the memory is, they are all showing us the same thing. Or actually, the same things. These are all times when we did something important because in all of these cases we made a judgment about what was the right way and what was the wrong way. And hopefully, in those situations, we did make the right choice, and we haven't instead made a longer-lasting memory and one that is full of regret.