Looking at the Changes We Want and Seeing the Changes We Got

• Video Transcript

  We all want to feel like our lives are moving forward and to see that we are progressing in our situations. But what does progress look like, and how do we know if we are moving forward? One of the problems here is that we all have preconceived ideas about what these things will translate to in our lives.

  So if we don't get the kind of progress we want exactly in the area of our lives that we want it in, then we feel like we are not moving forward and, more importantly, that our lives are not improving.

  But before we talk about progress, let's take a step back and look at how we can measure where our lives are at. And to do that, we need to ask ourselves what kind of situations we are having. And to do this properly, we should first break our lives into the three main areas, which are family, work, and our personal lives.

  So in each of these areas right now, are we having good situations or bad situations? And where are we getting the most trouble from? Even if it's just an annoyance, which part of our lives is it coming from? And in these areas, are there particular people who are continually causing that trouble? Or is it just that we have feelings of anxiety and worry in these areas or that a situation we are in is very difficult right now?

  Once we have identified what is wrong and which area it is in, we can track it. Usually, these kinds of things are out of our control, so we can't do anything to change them. But it's important to follow how or if they develop.

  We should also look at what kinds of situations are repeating. This is a sure sign that there is something not quite right in our lives. Often, things that repeat need our attention. We need to ask ourselves if there is something we need to do differently or if there is something we need to change so that it doesn't repeat again.

  So those are the kinds of situations we are having in our lives, but we also mustn't overlook what is working well for us. These are the things we have in our lives that don't need to change and the things that give us stability. We should acknowledge these too. Next, we should ask ourselves for each of the three areas what we don't have or what we would like more of in our lives. If we know this, then we can see if anything happens that brings us closer to these things.

  So now we are ready to ask the question about progress. And it's important to use the right timeline here. We aren't measuring our progress in hours and days; we should be using weeks and years to see the big picture of change in our lives. So what does progress look like, and are we getting it in our lives? Of course, the answer is yes, so how do we recognize it? If we can see that a part of our lives is easier now compared to the recent past or that situations that used to go horribly wrong only go slightly wrong now, then this is good progress.

  But the biggest indicator of progress is that an area of our lives will feel lighter than it was before. And when we look back at it in the past, it will seem like it was more stressful. And I don't mean that our situations are necessarily easier now because they might still be difficult, but what is different is that they feel better and more positive.

  One of the problems with seeing our progress clearly is that as soon as we move forward and changes happen, we are often hit immediately by other problems. These problems could even be in another area of our lives, but what happens is that they distract us from our progress and also detract from it because we can't enjoy it as much.

  So feeling like our lives are the same and haven't moved on usually translates as we haven't got the changes we wanted yet. But what we got instead were changes in the areas that needed to change, while we look forward to the ones that we think should change next.